Math teacher to gambler's son: If your father had $300
and a friend asked him for a loan of $200, how much would your father
have left?"
Gambler's son: "Three hundred dollars."
*
* * * *
A. "My brother is a panhandler in Las Vegas."
B. "What? I thought the city council outlawed panhandling
on the sidewalk in front of casinos."
A. "That's true. But my brother works as a nurse
in the hospital."
*
* * * *
During World War II some GIs were playing poker in a
British sub with some of the local men. One of the British players picked
up his hand and said, "Ill wager a pound."
A GI looked at his hand, which had four aces. He said,
"I don't know much about your money, but I'll see your pound and
raise you a ton."
*
* * * *
In a family-oriented casino in Las Vegas, a woman hurries
over to a security guard and says, "Excuse me, sir, buy my daughter
just swallowed a quarter and has to get to a hospital. Can I trust the
hospital staff in this city?"
"Lady," said the guard, "For a quarter,
who'd be mean enough to steal from a kid?"
*
* * * *
A casino in Las Vegas once offered its patrons the opportunity
to join the casino's Xmas club.
It didn't last. No one could keep up with the dues.
*
* * * *
A man tripped and fell on the sidewalk in front of a
casino in Atlantic City and suffered a minor injury.
"It's pretty lucky for you that you tripped in
front of a casino," said a witness. "Now you can sue the casino
director for thousands."
"I can't," said the accident victim.
"Why not?" asked the witness.
"Because I'm
the casino director."
